your room smells of hookers.
And success
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
