you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
