but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
