Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
