that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
