North Korea, Best Korea!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
