She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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