I think I died a long time ago.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
