my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
