loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
