Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
