doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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