i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize