His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
