I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
