People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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