I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
