Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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