ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize