The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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