i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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