There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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