Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
