is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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