she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
