I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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