who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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