I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
