I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
