I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and she was petting her beer can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
