trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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