Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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