About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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