Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
