I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
