I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
