Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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