Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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