so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
