I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
