She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
