Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
