I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
