i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
