i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
