He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
