The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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