Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
