Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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