As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
