Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
