im gay
i know
yea but for you.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
