also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
