you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
