Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
