Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize