dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
