I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
