Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
