We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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