She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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