yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
