Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
